Destiny

Destiny….it’s as golden as any promise that was made to me:
I want it;
I crave for it like a child longing for the gentle breeze blowing on her face:
I need it;
Like a coke addict needs crack to survive,
I love it for it is my addiction.
Like the freshness of a new born baby’s breath
So was Destiny….real!
With passion and fervor, dedication and commitment
I toiled in my search for Destiny;
Over mountain high, and valley low;
Though the hardening of my heart seemed to echo through my soul,
I was convinced that I belonged with Destiny!
Maybe I wanted it too badly
Maybe I was too desperate….
No one would comprehend the desire, the pain
That was felt -
The shattering of my little heart was so real!
The search for Destiny was so long,
Arduous, maybe even frustrating at times but
I never gave up! Never disappointed….never rejected the theories -
The theories that convinced me that Destiny was something I needed!
But Destiny, cared not about me!
What was more beneficial were the plans -
The plans to manipulate, use and calculate
The possible errors -
The possible errors that I would have made…
And they were calculated so immaculately that even I never knew they existed
Until they were presented to me on a clear sheet of paper…
The do’s and don’ts of the life that I had accepted for me!
I never thought that searching for Destiny,
Hoping for Destiny, and finally finding Destiny
Would be a bitter-sweet experience…
Sour to the throat but sweet to the lips!
How unfair…unfortunate it was, that I…me? I…
Got caught up, in something that ideally met truest perfection.
Convinced me that every wrong was right and every lie was truth…
And I, the fickle-minded youth, naïve, inexperienced in the least,
Gave into it like a virgin about to give her all to some worthless being!
I have fallen…and I need a hand to white-wash-brain-wash-erase
Every memory of Destiny from my mind…
Don’t give me solutions; I need answers,
Maybe not even from you…maybe not even from him…
Maybe from me…
I alone can figure out why I held Destiny in such high esteem,
Why I loved him, why I gave me…my entire being to him!
Fickle-minded youth I am,
Stupid…better yet-
Lost in a world without my Destiny.
Destroyed, hopeless and withdrawn;
Shivering in a room filled with white sheets and curtains…
How did I get here? How can I escape?
Bad, bad Destiny…to have shattered my heart without warning; what a friend…
What an enemy, and yet still here I am, wanting it!
I bid you adieu, my sweet love…
Farewell, I have searched found and tasted
I don’t want you anymore!
Goodbye to my golden promise, my fresh breeze, my crack
Ah yes, au revoir to you My Destiny!!!

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